Observations

It's been interesting to notice some small comparisons between this short one week trip and my ten-week trip to Ft. Bragg.

There's a huge difference in how Mrs. F and Ms. O dealt with having me in their household.
At the O house, especially towards the end of my time there, there were times when the Os would go out somewhere while I stayed home to clean. I wasn't part of the family: I was Cinderella left home to clean the carpet and scrub the laminate flooring. I shouldn't have been Cinderella, though- I should have been a servant("But in everything commending ourselves as servants of God, in much endurance, in afflictions, in hardships, in distresses...." 2nd Cor. 6:4). Wow, though, it's really hard to have a servant's heart when you're under-appreciated. It takes work!

Mrs. F has a totally different attitude, very respectful and considerate of my desires/needs. Very few people treat me so much like an adult as she has. For this short time the Fs have endeavored to make me feel like part of their family. That makes servant-hood so much easier!

Another funny happening is the Fs going to Medieval Times. When the Os and I went to Myrtle Beach, it was a possibility for a short time that we might go to the Medieval Times there. It ended up not happening. Almost-promises led to disappointments, another example of poor communication.

Now during this trip, Mrs. F actually apologized that I wouldn't be able to go, and explained she didn't feel her younger boys ought to go, so that's why they planned to have me stay with them. Her attitude and communication makes a huge difference, and I am fine with not going. It also probably helps that though Medieval Times was a big deal back(way back) in high school, I've got over it by now. If it was Colonial Times, though, nothing could keep me away!

I was too cowardly to confront Mrs. O about our struggles, and either she was just too emotionally stressed to maturely deal with it, or the hardships in her past kept her from being able to handle communication. I think she expected me to be like she had been: A single woman confident in being on her own. Mrs. F, though she doesn't currently have the stress of deployment like Ms. O, encourages openness and evaluation and understands the completely appropriate need for me to be part of a family.

I don't mean to make Mrs. O look like the evil stepmother and Mrs F like the fairy god-mother- they both have faults and so do I. Mrs O, despite her degree in counseling, didn't understand how to fit me in to her family, and Mrs. F does. Getting a grasp on the Biblical place for adult single women makes a world of difference.


On to a different subject; it's markedly different from Nebraska to see so many black people everywhere, with such a distinctly different culture, and it's good to see it and learn. It's positively amazing what some black ladies do with their hair! It's also kind of creepy to see groups of young black men in this neighborhood who apparently don't work, because they walk around during work hours. You know that style of wearing pants too big for your waist so your underwear shows and you have to actually hold your pants up so they won't fall down completely? It's really in here. I despise that style.

My time away

Does anyone want to know what it was really like at Ft. Bragg?

I went to Ft. Bragg, NC to work as a nanny for a Army family with four young children. My job there only lasted two and a half months, from August until the end of October, when the father of the family returned home from Iraq. I didn't do the work for pay, but as a ministry. I got room and board and the experience of being a servant. Frankly, it was tough, and it was tough because the mother had totally different expectations as to what I would be like and what I would be doing, than I did. I was so lonely. On my last night there she told me details of how she had been dissatisfied with me, and in emails since she has told even more details. How depressing! She has such a totally bad opinion of me, and was so dissatisfied with my work, I think she felt like I did more harm than good in my time there.

So, it was hard- it was good in that it was a learning experience. It's still on-going, too. I never want to see her again! I never want to speak to her again! I never want to email her again! But I know that attitude is wrong, and I know I was at fault too, and I need to forgive her for how she has hurt me. That's where things stand right now.

There is no place like Nebraska

I am home! I arrived home at about 7pm Wednesday after a whole day of travel. We left the O. house at 6:45 am for the Raleigh airport. It was rush hour by the time we got there, so it took longer than expected and we said a quick goodbye because by the time my bags were checked it was boarding time, but my flight was delayed half an hour because of storms. On the plane to Chicago I sat next to Rick Boyer, a homeschool author (The Socialization Trap, etc.), and father of fourteen(www.thelearningparent.com). That was pretty neat!

I sat in Chicago for four hours, my flight was delayed there about two hours, but that seems normal for flights nowadays. My family met me at the airport and my life has been a whirl of activity ever since. My family made the decision to move while I was gone, so our whole outlook on the future has changed. My sister has also done some traveling while I was gone, and it’s so wonderful to see how mature she is. My brothers have all grown several inches, I’m sure, and Caleb is now officially and obviously taller than me. They are all so handsome!

I am not even unpacked yet; there is so much to do. Housework, and our drive to raise donations to send packages to NE soldiers overseas needs to get going soon. We are off to a late start. Lots of other things too! Last night we went to Sioux City to hear Presidential candidates McCain and Huckabee debate. I was glad I got to hear them both speak.

As to my emotional state, which I am sure you are all yearning to hear about: I am struggling not to be disappointed and bitter towards Mrs. O. The last night I was in NC we sat down and had a talk. I from that I know that Mrs. O was not satisfied with my work, though of course she did thank me. She told me that there had been things she wanted me to do while I was there, but she didn’t tell me to do them, at least not directly, because she thought she would speak too harshly to me. For my part, I was struggling with loneliness the whole time I was there, but I didn’t feel like I could ask Mrs. O for anything, since I was there to serve. Basically, there was poor communication between Mrs. O and me. So, optimistically speaking, I am still benefiting from my time there in that I am learning what it is to be a complete servant, I need to initiate more, etc.

In closing, there was no need for any of you to worry about me getting engaged while at Ft. Bragg- in my time there I am sure I met only half a dozen soldiers, and probably even less single men than that!

Today we have school and tonight is movie night. We will be watching "The Wizard of Oz" while eating, as we do every Friday, popcorn and having hot chocolate. I just wanted to let you all know that I am doing well, even though I still have not been able to meet anyone I could call a friend. I have a little less than a month left here; I hope I am truly helping this family.

Anyway, I am just peachy, even though I have not been able to post as much as I would like to!

I took a walk yesterday

We don't have red dirt where I come from.

The young pine trees look really pretty.

The weather was perfect for a walk- cloudy and slightly breezy, so it wasn't too hot. Mrs. O took the kids out so I did a little cleaning and then wandered out on my own, onto one of the trails in the woods here on base. I enjoyed being away from houses, and seeing all the different plants, and just the peace and quiet, though I did see several people out walking and running.

Hey all!

Sorry, I haven't been posting.
I am back at my new home after being away for the weekend. My hostess was very accommodating and I had a very relaxing time away from children, and just a relaxing time in general.

On Sunday I went with my hostess to a Chapel here on base that markets itself as "Contemporary and Casual". It wasn't as bad as it sounds! I am glad that I can listen to the Church sermons from home on the Internet. My Church options here are Church A, which puts you to sleep with its songs and sermons, but has good Sunday school, or Church B, which has more joy in worship but is theologically incorrect! Maybe I should alternate?

Last night I called home and we had a sort of family conference about some big decisions in our lives right now. I'm not sure if Mom and Dad want to make it public news right now but some of you will all learn soon enough. It was good to talk, but it made me homesick.

This morning Mrs. O told me that two soldiers had been killed; she didn't tell me exactly but I believe they were from her husband's area. I can see how stressful it is for her to deal with the news. Please pray for her, and the other wives, that they could have peace and grace at this time.

Also, the children are not obeying me and I am hoping to talk to Mrs. O about it at the right moment sometime soon. You could pray that we would be able to work this issue out so that things would work more smoothly!

So all that is kind of what is on my mind today; or at least it was, until the youngest of my charges got hit in the lip with a water gun which left him with an open gash that bled as head wounds so often do, and now there is blood on the carpet, the chair, and my dress, and Mrs. O is at the emergency room getting a stitch or two put in. The little boy will be fine, and I'm too used to this sort of thing to get upset, so all is well.

Back online

Our Internet service was out for awhile there. Thankfully we are now back online, connected with the outside world. And life goes on.

Other than Church on Sunday, I haven't been out of the house so far this week. I've been babysitting the kids as their mother shops and arranges various upcoming activities, now that school is starting up again, such as ballet and violin.

Church was intimidating because I had to meet so many new people. You don't need to tell me that it's good for me, my family tells me that often enough. I survived, though I really can't remember many of the names of the people I met.

I also had grits for the first time ever, and I guess I liked them alright. It's basically like oatmeal or rice, only different texture and less flavoring!

Here I am